Well I have gone and done it, I picked up my life and I moved to Maui. This is perhaps the most difficult thing I have ever done...and yet I would have thought that moving from the mainland to Kauai 3 years ago would have held that position, but it does not. This has been the most difficult few weeks I can ever recall, both physically and emotionally...
I don't mean to brag, but I am going to because I have kicked ass these past few weeks. I packed 22 boxes of personal belongings, 4 suitcases and various artwork to be shipped via barge along with my car, let it be noted that I packed every single item in my home on my own with no help. That would have been enough to say that I was exhausted and entirely over the process of moving.
But that was only the first step. I flew in to Kahului roughly 72 hours ago. I got off the plane, and because I could not ship my things too early because Young Brothers, the inter-island transport company, does not hold items for more than 48 hours, I was unsure whether my vehicle or personal belongings would be here...but I called them when I landed, 4 suitcases and 2 boxes in tow, and my vehicle, Keanu, had arrived and was ready for pickup. My 22 boxes and other items were also here. I had arranged while still on Kauai via someone I found on Craigslist to meet me at the port when my things were ready, so they could help me transport and carry all my boxes up to my 3rd floor apartment at 'Melrose Place.' No elevators, I knew I would need help...so by that first afternoon, I had all of my possessions in my little apartment on the 3rd floor. Success.
Next morning I woke up and realized that I could not unpack because I had no furniture whatsoever...I had a bed and that was it. I needed a nightstand and dresser, not to mention a sofa, dining table and tv...but first things first, I had made an appointment for cable to come out and be installed, so by 9am that first morning my network was up and running. Success.
No food, I had to go out to breakfast and make a plan...I decided to go to this store that I had seen advertise a few furniture pieces for sale on Craigslist that stated they would deliver for a nominal charge...that was a huge issue for me, getting the furniture to my place. So I went there, Maui Family Furniture, and I told Leisha the manager what I needed...I looked at furniture, we put together mixed pieces, and I had all of it in my house an hour later. Success.
I unpacked. I unpacked everything. I got my entire life out of the boxes I had placed and wrapped them in, nothing, not a single thing broken or damaged, everything in its place. 48 hours later. Success.
Today I went to Walmart, horrible but necessary trip to get the little things that didn't work, the little other things I needed. Done. My little apartment feels like a nice flat, it feels comfortable, it will be my home for a little bit. Success.
I start my new job on Monday, but at least I know I can come home to comfortable personal space. I am so tired, but I feel entirely triumphant in my accomplishment the last few days.
I kicked ass.
I want to give credit to those people who did help me...in Kauai there was Judi, Jana, David, Bobby, Kelly, and here in Maui, Andy, Sheena and Adrian...Adrian is a 15 year old who lives here in my building and saw me when my feet were aching trying to take boxes down to recycling...he asked me if I needed help and I almost started crying...yes, yes I need help...I was pushed to my physical and emotional limits these past few weeks and a 15 year old boy, a stranger, helped me to the finish line...
I have time now to reflect, a few days with my family who arrives tomorrow for the week. I start a new job on Monday, I am here, today in Maui. A new chapter begins...
Security...at one point in my younger life this is all that I wanted, to be secure and taken care of. I am today officially without job, actually in between jobs, but still, today I am not employed. My car, Keanu, has been dropped off at the port along with most all of my belongings...I hope to be picking them up in Maui next week, but until then I am without job, car, or any possessions...I am free today. I have nothing today, but I am free...
Correction. I have something. As my dear friend Anne Stone pointed out to me recently when I shared with her that I didn't have a penny, she reminded me, "but Malathy, you have the ability to make a penny..." And it is in this that I suppose I have security, the security and confidence in myself, the knowing that I know how to survive and get along and thereby have the security I need and want in my life. I suppose that is my security, I am my own security.
I have always wanted to be taken care of, but I have learned here in Kauai that I can take care of myself...and perhaps that is what I leave here with. I have had wonderful and happy times, but lonely and sad times also, and I have taken care of myself.
So I have always wanted security, and I suppose that through this journey that is my life, I have found that I can create the security that I need, while still having the freedom I need to live and experience my life...not bad, not bad at all...#iammyownsecurity #maui # yolo
“I give you this to take with you:
Nothing remains as it was. If you know this, you can
begin again, with pure joy in the uprooting.”
― Judith Minty, Letters to My Daughters
I sit in my home today taping together boxes and beginning the process of packing my life up once again. I don't have much, I have created a fairly streamlined existence, I have clothing and shoes, some kitchen items, artwork and a few things I have collected here on the island...I have been here on Kauai for 3 years now, and it is time for me to leave. I am not making a huge change, I shall be moving to Maui in a few short weeks, but as I reflect on my time here I have very mixed feelings about my move, it is a move that is absolutely necessary at this time, but a move that is also very bittersweet. I built a life for myself here, a fulfilling new career, I have made friends, I have had love, I have made memories that shall stay with me as I move on to my next chapter...
Many friends and family have come to visit me here and catch a glimpse of what my reality is like in Kauai. Some have been accepting and curious, some have judged, but nonetheless, I have learned so much about myself here, have had the opportunity to allow people into my life that wouldn't have otherwise been a part of my life if I was not here on the island, and for that I am grateful.
But it is time for reentry, no need to be so isolated anymore, I am far too outgoing and social of a person to not be around people and have the level of stimulation that I am missing. I lived a simple life here, because that is the life to be led here...but I am ready for a bit more complexity and engagement. I have found my new Bikram yoga studio in Maui, I have found a new place to live (I shall call it Melrose Place), and I am looking forward to my next chapter.
Here I go again...#yolo #maui #newchapter
I am unsure how it is more than half way through the calendar year...where is my reflection? I had a strict writing schedule when I first started this endeavor of writing and blogging the events of my life and more importantly the reflection of events in my life as they were happening. I was writing an entry once a week, reflecting on the huge changes in my life and lifestyle and was highly cognizant of these changes as they were occurring.
And then something changed, something happened along the way...I became a player in my own life and I started living in it...it became more interesting to simply live and be alive than to reflect on the changes and observations that were to be made. Sometimes living is just funner.
But it is my nature to reflect, and as I look to this blog, I think to myself, isn't this what #yolo is all about? Living in the moment, being caught up in the everyday and taking it all in? The emotions are real...the happiness, the sadness, the successes, the challenges...life is happy sometimes, sad sometimes, challenging, frustrating and fulfilling. My daughter graduated from college this year, my son is having his own successes in his young career...and I am here on my island, living a life I created for myself, a life that I have carved out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
It is a different life than I have had in the past, but it is my life...I created the fork in my own road, and I am happily on a different path now. I am living, I am trying to not take my moments for granted, I am trying to not fall into a pattern of complacency that so easily can overcome us and make our life's opus monotone...I want a symphony, I want to hear the melody and harmonies and overtones. I want to feel the nuances. #reflections #livinginthemoment #yolo
